by Alina Ruigrok
Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear, are the words that best describe long distance relationships. Keep in mind however, that the words are challenging and difficult, not impossible. Many people choose to give a long distance relationship a try, with the constant curiosity if it was the right decision to make and if it even stands a chance. The truth is, a long distance relationship has just as much a chance of succeeding as any other relationship!
Long Distance Relationships share the same facts as an average relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each other's lives, care for one another and of course have a love for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. On the other hand, a long distance relationship does have its differences as well. It takes away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the choice of being intimate whenever you desire, not to mention that there would be major trust required. Being unable to spend time together in a physical presence makes it harder to hang on to, but does not spell out doom for your relationship.
The first step is to make an agreement of what your expectations are in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. If the two of you decide to be monogamous, then it is clear that neither of you will be dating anyone else as long as your romantic relationship exists. Being clear about what you both want is extremely important, especially in a long distance relationship, in order to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes. Do not feel afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, you deserve the chance to speak from your heart and he or she deserves to know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you.
Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger and unsuccessfulness, just as it would be any other relationship. By accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised. Being paranoid and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you and none of those three will help the relationship survive successfully.
Keeping each other informed of the friendships you have with other people and the events that take place in your personal life is a great way to keep your relationship alive and healthy; and continues to make your partner a part of your life. It is essential that you receive the same information from your partner as well, so you both feel the same security and satisfaction that you both crave. Be creative with the way you keep in touch, such as calling, e-mailing, faxing and sending cards. Pay attention to how many times a week you are staying in touch as well. If you want your bond to stay strong and loving, you have to hear from one another often, leaving as little room for any of you to start getting paranoid about anything. Although you cannot be romantic towards each other on a physical note, you can still perform romantic acts that will keep the romance department happy. You can do this by sending love letters and poems, having flowers and gifts delivered, or even sending a video of yourself with a loving message. Reminding your partner of how much you think about and love him or her will score high points, making them miss you more with the constant urge to see you.
Planning reunions play a big part in keeping your relationship exciting, plus serve you the satisfaction of being able to see and touch each other occasionally. It gives you the opportunity to catch up on each other's life in person and to be able to share physical and intimate activities together, which will fulfill both of your needs and desires. Not re-uniting every once in a while will only damage the relationship you have, so if one of you are not willing to visit the other occasionally, then you may need to question the interest and care your partner has for you and should probably end the relationship and move on. If you and your partner truly want this to work out, then you will both continue to be eager to see each other as often as you can and every time to have the chance to.
Setting a limit of how long you will be apart is a wise thing to do if you do not want to end up waiting forever. There will be a day when you and your partner will have to start planning a serious future, which can only happen when you are living in the same area or perhaps even living together, whichever makes you most comfortable. If none of you are willing to agree on a place to settle and start having a relationship where you see each other on a regular basis, then you can pretty much forget about accomplishing anything out of your long distance relationship. If your partner truly loves you and wants to be with you, then they would not want to wait forever to be with you.
With the right amount of effort and interest on both parts, a long distance relationship can survive the obstacles it will frequently be challenged with. As long as you both refresh your memories of why you chose to do this in the first place, trust each other, inform one another of your personal lives, keep in touch, and visit, your relationship can turn out to be one of the most successful and happy relationships that ever existed. You both will be secure, happy and satisfied until the day comes when you will re-unite for good and build your wonderful future together.