Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.
Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.!
Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life.
Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.
Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot. Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.
It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.
Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Things to CONSIDER to know if he MIGHT be "The One"
1) Find the guy who will treat you right ---- despite your silly moods swings and temper...
2) Find the guy you will miss terribly, the one who will make days feel like years... the one who calls back when you hang up on him... holds your hand when you're scared... hugs you unconditionally when you're down...
3) Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, whispers "i love you" when you least expect it... the one who smiles at you just to brighten up your day..
4) Be with the one who wants to show you off to the world, the one who holds your hand in front of his friends, and the one who's not afraid to hug you in public...
5) Find the guy who constantly reminds you how much he cares for you, the one who leaves an extra jacket in his car in case you get cold, the guy who thinks you're still just as beautiful even if you've gained weight, cut your hair, or changed your look...
6) Stay with the one who loves your friends and family, takes interest in your hobbies, your likes, and even the little things that would make you smile...
7) Stay with the guy who not only thinks about you today but shares his dreams of being with you in the future...
8) Love the man who loves God, life, and all its blessings...
9) Love the man who will bring out the best in you, the one who will not only tell you how beautiful you are today but make you feel you are for the rest of your life...
10) Be grateful if you have already found him ---
Cherish him
Love him
Accept him for the man he was, he is, and the man he intends to be
---- And if you haven't, keep believing he will come... at the most unexpected circumstances but with all of God's blessing and love.
When you pray for something great to come into your life, at the right time, with the right reasons, the entire universe will conspire to make it happen....
2) Find the guy you will miss terribly, the one who will make days feel like years... the one who calls back when you hang up on him... holds your hand when you're scared... hugs you unconditionally when you're down...
3) Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, whispers "i love you" when you least expect it... the one who smiles at you just to brighten up your day..
4) Be with the one who wants to show you off to the world, the one who holds your hand in front of his friends, and the one who's not afraid to hug you in public...
5) Find the guy who constantly reminds you how much he cares for you, the one who leaves an extra jacket in his car in case you get cold, the guy who thinks you're still just as beautiful even if you've gained weight, cut your hair, or changed your look...
6) Stay with the one who loves your friends and family, takes interest in your hobbies, your likes, and even the little things that would make you smile...
7) Stay with the guy who not only thinks about you today but shares his dreams of being with you in the future...
8) Love the man who loves God, life, and all its blessings...
9) Love the man who will bring out the best in you, the one who will not only tell you how beautiful you are today but make you feel you are for the rest of your life...
10) Be grateful if you have already found him ---
Cherish him
Love him
Accept him for the man he was, he is, and the man he intends to be
---- And if you haven't, keep believing he will come... at the most unexpected circumstances but with all of God's blessing and love.
When you pray for something great to come into your life, at the right time, with the right reasons, the entire universe will conspire to make it happen....
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
How to make a girl fall in love with you.
The thought of learning how to make a girl fall in love with you is a disturbing one. Love is a huge emotion that can radically and completely dictate someone’s life. If it was possible to perform a few magical steps in order to make someone fall in love with you, we would live in a harsh world of broken hearts. Uh oh… don’t we already?
You cannot make anyone do anything and you certainly cannot makeanyone love you. The more you try to make someone love you, the less they will. Its kind of a catch-22 in that way but fortunately there are two aspects you can concentrate on to help you along the way.
What do you love in life? Usually its the things that make you happy and the things that we attribute the most value to. Keeping in mind these two aspects of human nature, we can therefore conclude that in order for someone to love us, we must make them happy and we must be valuable to them.
Let’s work on making them happy first, its really simple and is overlooked by most people. The simple rule to making someone happy is to be happy yourself. Being happy is contagious and people in your presence will automatically feel similar to you. If you’re happy about life, then the people around you will want to have you around them as well. If you’re always down, depressed or angry, then you are making yourself very hard to love.
Example #1: Think of someone that you love or loved. Imagine them in your mind until you can see a picture of their face. In this picture, are they happy or sad ? Its very likely that in the mental picture that you have, they are smiling or happy. If it worked for you, then it should also work for others.
The concept when pondering about how to make a girl fall in love with you is value. The things you love the most consequently have a lot of value. Can you really fall in love with something that has no value? Things that are replaceable, or are easily attainable have little value in our lives. So make yourself valuable and people will love you. Being valuable isn’t as hard as people think.
The concept of value is relative, in an organization, the most valuable person is the boss even if in another situation, he could be completely insignificant. This is why so many secretaries are attracted to their boss. He has the most value. Let’s take this concept and apply it in practical situations.
Example #2, If you’re in school, then the most valuable person will be the person that is most respected by his peers. This can be the football star among cheerleaders, or the smart guy who gets the best grades. He can also be the guy who makes the girls laugh the most, or the guy that has the best house parties that everyone wants to attend.
In a work environment, the most valuable person can once again, be the social funny guy that everyone wants to hang out with, or the boss, or the sharp guy that the boss respects the most.
But… what if the girl I like doesn’t know about these social situations ? Well then… Tell her about your day! Although not as efficient, just telling her about your daily interactions (in a non-gloating way) can be an effective way of communicating your value.
The Double Your Dating book explains in detail exactly how to be perceived as the most valuable person while building massive attraction.
In the end, the concept of learning how to make a girl fall in love with you is a flawed one because as soon as you try to make someone love you, they won’t. So instead, concentrate on being happy and valuable, the rest will come naturally.
-- Art of Seduction by Robert Greene.
20 ways to make a girl fall head over heels
1. Don't flirt with other girls.
It makes us feel like we're not good enough for you. We feel like we did something wrong so you are making up for it with another girl.
2. Even if you're not going out, heck, even if you're not friends, don't say bad stuff about us.
We could be the meanest people in the world to you, but most of the time we're joking and we think you're serious. You haven't seen mean until you say something bad about us. We have evil sides and we're not afraid to use them.
3. We're not toys.
Don't just have your fun with us and drop us. We're serious about things. That's just mean and we'll spend days wondering what we ever did wrong.
4. Put your arms around our waist firmly but gently, holding us close to you.
If you can, smell our hair! For most girls, we try to succeed in making it smell and look good! Plus, we know you love the smell, why try to sneak around?
5. If you've done something wrong, fess up.
Tell us before we have to ask you about it. Trust me, when we ask, we'll be twice as angry, and that's just if you tell the truth. We know. We don't guess when we confront you. We have our connections, and we know what's going on. Lie to us and you can pretty much send your death wish.
6. When we say we love you, we mean it.
We're not willing to tell just anyone that. Our hearts are gentle and it's very hard to trust guys, and it takes time. Don't worry if you tell us you love us and we don't say it back right away. We do, we're just thinking about how sweet it was that you said it first. And if it takes a day or two, we're not deciding. We're figuring out how we can prove it.
7. If we have guy friends, we love how you hold us close when we talk to them.
We think it's cute when you get all jealous, but don't overdo it. We're not dumb, we're not gonna mess around. We're not flirting, so don't blame us later. Now, if some guy friend of our's is flirting with us, then you have every right to overreact and kick his ass.
8. Anything you'd want us to know about you... know about us, too. We'll memorize every fact.
We'll have our friends quiz us on how many homeruns you had in a season, what your favorite color is... But it's gonna hurt if we know so much about us and all you can say is, "Uhh..." and make a guess.
9. If our eyes are shiny, we're either really happy or we're about to cry.
Look at our smile and the way our face is. Is it the same way it is when you make us laugh? If not, we're going to cry. At that point, if you can tell, turn us so that we're facing you and wrap your arms around us tight so that we feel like nothing could harm us at all while we're there, and stroke our hair. When we cry, often we will bury our heads in your shoulder. If we don't, wipe away our tears. Whisper gently in our ear. Tell us it's okay, even if you don't know what we're crying about.
10. Know that we like it when you tickle us.
It makes us laugh and reminds us that you know that exact spot that makes us cry we're laughing so hard. It's cute.
11. Surprise us.
Call before you're at the door, make sure you have good timing. Tell us to look out the window, or open the door. We'll see you and hang up and run to your side. Bring flowers for now reason. Give us candy when we're down, that always works! Show up just to kiss us and see us smile.
12. Show us how much you love us.
That doesn't mean show us how bad you want to have sex. We're not walking beds. (So, in other words, we're not just easy legs walking around.) We love it when you whisper in our ear, or breath on our neck. We like it when you kiss under our jaw down our neck, resting your head on our shoulder. We feel like we're repaying you for every time we rest on you.
13. We love to look at the stars.
Plan a night to surprise us and don't tell us where you're taking us no matter how much we may beg. Take a picnic dinner, candles, a lighter, plastic glasses and sparkling cider. Don't forget to bring lots and lots of coffee for us! We love that stuff. Bring 3 blankets. One for the ground when we lay on top of you in your arms, one for over the top of both of you, and another that you sneak on top of her during the night, just in case she gets cold. Hold us close and let us look up at the stars in your arms. If we fall asleep, don't wake us up. Stay the night with us right there, and let us use you for a pillow. Get comfortable, but try your hardest not to disturb our sleep, because if we open our eyes we'll tell you to take us home.
14. If your friends think it's cool to have sex, it doesn't mean we do.
We have plans for our lives, usually. And if not, we're still not ready to handle that kind of pressure. Being in a relationship is a lot of responsibility itself, and having sex just means you have to be more committed. Wait until we're ready. If you pressure us, we're going to get mad and we might not ever have sex with you. (Another way to put it: We'll dump you, no matter how much it hurts.)
15. Sing to us in the quiet.
Even if you're horrible. Especially if you're good. We love to hear you. If you're bad at it, it just shows that you would show us anything, even if it's not the most pleasurable thing you would choose to do. It shows us you're open with us and are willing to do whatever we want. In the quiet it comforts us and reminds us you're there, and it really turns us on, and you're likely to get a kiss.
16. Dance with us.
With or without music. Even in the funniest of places. If we announce we love the song, that's your big hint that we want you to ask us to dance. And even if we don't say that, offer anyways. The worst thing we could do is say no.
17. Don't embarrass us.
If you act immature in front of us, we will scold you like your mother would. We'll chew you out and rip you a new one, telling you exactly how much we never want to be seen with you. If, in fact, you do embarrass us publicly, after we're completely through chewing you out, say you're sorry. Tell us you didn't mean to embarrass us and ask for our forgiveness. Then, once we sigh, put your hands on our shoulders and let them slide to rest on our hips. DON'T try to kiss us. Wait for us to be ready. Who knows how long we'll be angry.
18. Meet our parents right off the bat.
We love it when you include our family. If you get the chance, refuse to go out with us until you meet our parents. Figure out a day when you can come home with us and have dinner with the rents... Be Mr. Polite to the parents. Shake hands with her dad firmly and cooly. Shake her mother's hand first and be gentle. Do remember, she's cooking your food. Smile at them and smile at her afterward. If she has siblings, be Mr. Perfect. They'll love you if you tell them something they don't know. And if you show them how to do something, they'll love you forever. Keep in mind that they look up to her, so if you play your cards right, they'll look up to you, too. If they're older, they're sure to be protective. They might not appear it at first, but they care deeply who their younger sister is with. If it's a brother, be nice and polite and show him without action exactly how much you want to care for her. Prove to her whole family why you should be with her. Ask her dad. Make sure it's alright with him. Then, when you get the okay, kiss her hand and ask her to a date you've previously planned in front of everyone.
19. Pay for her.
She'd offer to pay for half and even all of it. Don't let her. Call it your treat. Even if you pay every time, it means that we have more money to spend on those little gifts we love to get you. Like those photo albums we love to decorate and put pictures of the two of you together. Those do cost money. And the cologne we get you for Christmas or your birthday? Yah, that's real stuff right there. It ain't cheap!
20. Last, but not least and the most important of all, love her.
With all of your heart, love her. Love her like there's no one else out there for you, because as far as you know, there isn't. Don't doubt our unconditional love for you. Kiss us like you've never kissed before. Hold us like no one could fit more perfectly in your arms. Love us like no one could fill that hold that we do any better. Look past the flaws that we constantly point out and even reject them. When we say we look fat or ugly, reject it instantly and remind us how beautiful we are. Point out something about us you love. Think about her before anyone else.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Choices
Are difficult.There are two choices: the first would be for me to let you know. And doing so, I'm risking a lot. I'm risking friendship. Never talking again? Not talking to me the same way? I don't think I can take that. OR, I let you know and I feel that there's a possibility that you won't reject me... just a feeling. I'm not confident about that one.
The second choice would be for me to never let you know. Doing so, I'll NEVER know how you'll react- that's my safe choice though. No risks. It would just be annoying if you were actually waiting for me to let you know. (Walang risk. Nakakainis lang kung hinihintay mo ako umamin diba?)
Haaay.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
How to Install Love
How to Install Love?
Could it be possible?
Can we?
Read the following conversation then try to follow the steps given by the Acting customer care representative.
Customer Service (CS) Rep. : Yes, Ma'am, how can Ihelp you today?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decidedto install LOVE.Can you guide me through the process?
CS Rep. : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready toproceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I thinkI'm ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep. : The first step is to open your HEART. Haveyou located your HEART ma'am
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several otherprograms running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep. : What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE,LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep. : No problem. LOVE will gradually erasePAST-HURT.EXE from your currentoperating system. It may remain in your permanentmemory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwriteLOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own calledHIGH-ESTEEM. EXE. However, you have to completely turnoff GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can youtell me how?
CS Rep. : My pleasure. Go to your Start menu andinvoke FORGIVENESS. EXE.Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXEand RESENTMENT.COM havebeen completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installingitself automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep. : Yes. You should receive a message that saysit will reinstall for the life of your HEART.Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I! do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep. : Yes, but remember that you have only thebase program.You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in orderto get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. Whatshould I do?
CS Rep. : What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ONINTERNAL COMPONENTS."What does that mean?
CS Rep. : Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.It means that the LOVE program is setup to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been runon your HEART. It is one of thosecomplicated programming things, but in non-technicalterms it means you have to "LOVE" yourown machine before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep. : Can you pull down the directory called"SELF-ACCEPTANCE" ?Customer: Yes, I have it.CS Rep. : Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep. : You're welcome. Click on the following filesand then copy them to the "MYHEART"directory: FORGIVE-SELF. DOC, REALIZE-WORTH. TXT, andACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS. DOC. The system will overwrite anyconflicting files and begin patching any faultyprogramming. Also, you need to deleteVERBOSE-SELF- CRITIC.EXE from all directories, andthen empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure itis completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with newfiles. SMILE.MPG is playing on mymonitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, andCONTENTMENT. COM are copyingthemselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?
CS Rep. : Sometimes. For others it takes a while, buteventually everything gets downloaded atthe proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running.You should be able to handle it from here.One more thing before I go.
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep. : LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and itsvarious modules to everybody you meet.They will in turn share it with other people and theywill return some similarly cool modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way,what's your name?
CS Rep. : You can call me the Divine Cardiologist,also known as The Great Physician, but mostcall me God. Most people feel all they need is anannual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but themanufacturer (Me) suggests a schedule of dailymaintenance for maximum efficiency.Put another way, keep in touch.......
Could it be possible?
Can we?
Read the following conversation then try to follow the steps given by the Acting customer care representative.
Customer Service (CS) Rep. : Yes, Ma'am, how can Ihelp you today?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decidedto install LOVE.Can you guide me through the process?
CS Rep. : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready toproceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I thinkI'm ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep. : The first step is to open your HEART. Haveyou located your HEART ma'am
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several otherprograms running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep. : What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE,LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep. : No problem. LOVE will gradually erasePAST-HURT.EXE from your currentoperating system. It may remain in your permanentmemory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwriteLOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own calledHIGH-ESTEEM. EXE. However, you have to completely turnoff GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can youtell me how?
CS Rep. : My pleasure. Go to your Start menu andinvoke FORGIVENESS. EXE.Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXEand RESENTMENT.COM havebeen completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installingitself automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep. : Yes. You should receive a message that saysit will reinstall for the life of your HEART.Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I! do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep. : Yes, but remember that you have only thebase program.You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in orderto get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. Whatshould I do?
CS Rep. : What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ONINTERNAL COMPONENTS."What does that mean?
CS Rep. : Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.It means that the LOVE program is setup to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been runon your HEART. It is one of thosecomplicated programming things, but in non-technicalterms it means you have to "LOVE" yourown machine before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep. : Can you pull down the directory called"SELF-ACCEPTANCE" ?Customer: Yes, I have it.CS Rep. : Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep. : You're welcome. Click on the following filesand then copy them to the "MYHEART"directory: FORGIVE-SELF. DOC, REALIZE-WORTH. TXT, andACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS. DOC. The system will overwrite anyconflicting files and begin patching any faultyprogramming. Also, you need to deleteVERBOSE-SELF- CRITIC.EXE from all directories, andthen empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure itis completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with newfiles. SMILE.MPG is playing on mymonitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, andCONTENTMENT. COM are copyingthemselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?
CS Rep. : Sometimes. For others it takes a while, buteventually everything gets downloaded atthe proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running.You should be able to handle it from here.One more thing before I go.
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep. : LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and itsvarious modules to everybody you meet.They will in turn share it with other people and theywill return some similarly cool modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way,what's your name?
CS Rep. : You can call me the Divine Cardiologist,also known as The Great Physician, but mostcall me God. Most people feel all they need is anannual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but themanufacturer (Me) suggests a schedule of dailymaintenance for maximum efficiency.Put another way, keep in touch.......
Thursday, August 28, 2008
GIRL FACTS---
When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back
but she is too Scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever!
When you catch a girl glancing at you,
She wants you to look back and smile
When a girl bumps into your arm, while walking with you
She wants you to hold her hand
When she wants a hug
She will just stand there
When you break a girl’s heart
She still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later
When a girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running through her mind...
When a girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply,
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
She is not fine at all
When a girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are playing games
When a girl lays her head on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a girl says she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are Her future
When a girl says, "I miss you,"
No one in this world can miss you more Than that
GUY FACTS---
When a guy calls you,
He wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine" after a few minutes
He means it
When a guy stares at you,
He wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
When you’re laying your head on a guy's chest,
He has the world
When a guy calls/texts/comments/messages you everyday,
He is in love
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
He means it
When a guy says he can't live without you,
He’s with you till you’re done
When a guy says, "I miss you,"
He misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back
but she is too Scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever!
When you catch a girl glancing at you,
She wants you to look back and smile
When a girl bumps into your arm, while walking with you
She wants you to hold her hand
When she wants a hug
She will just stand there
When you break a girl’s heart
She still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later
When a girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running through her mind...
When a girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply,
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
She is not fine at all
When a girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are playing games
When a girl lays her head on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a girl says she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are Her future
When a girl says, "I miss you,"
No one in this world can miss you more Than that
GUY FACTS---
When a guy calls you,
He wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine" after a few minutes
He means it
When a guy stares at you,
He wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
When you’re laying your head on a guy's chest,
He has the world
When a guy calls/texts/comments/messages you everyday,
He is in love
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
He means it
When a guy says he can't live without you,
He’s with you till you’re done
When a guy says, "I miss you,"
He misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
Saturday, August 02, 2008
What Happened To All The Nice Guys
What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"
Well, once again, you did.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
If you were five years younger.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.
Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
-Pulled from the best of Craigslist-
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"
Well, once again, you did.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
If you were five years younger.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.
Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
-Pulled from the best of Craigslist-
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
If A Man Wants You
By: Salma Rumman
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends."
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends."
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Losing
By IagoThursday, May 03, 2001
Circe told me to write about break ups. I told her no. I told her that there are so many things to write about, why would I spend my time reliving painful memories. Don't get me started, I told her, And besides, what kind of sadomasochist do you think I am? The kind that we all are, she said. You've fallen in love, and you'll fall in love again, she said. That makes you a masochist. And it's only a matter of a few fights into the relationship that you'll become a sadist.
I told her no. I wanted to write about the love of my life, and I wanted to make it happy. Did it end happy, Circe asked. No relationship ends happy if it ends, I replied. Uh-huh, she said, then go ahead and try to make it happy.
And so this last week, as I finished packing my boxes before I leave this weekend for the States, I went slowly over an old box of photos and letters that I never bothered to throw out. It was one of the last boxes I was going to pack for storage, and there was a reason I was putting it off for the last. It was full of things: papers, pictures, souvenirs, a little green book of poetry – so stuffed with memories that it couldn't shut properly. After I went through it and tried to unsuccessfully put everything back in, I realized it was a metaphor for closure.
Damn that Circe for being right. Damn Circe for getting me started. She made me remember the Love of My Life:
In the history of my life, she was the Pearl Harbor and the invention of the wheel.
After six years I still could never take my eyes off her. Few things could do that. The sky is one of them. She and I would get drunk on Steely Dan and darkness. "Did you know that Steely Dan was named after a dildo?" she said. She smiled crooked, like a careful cat. The days she let me love her were the only days I never looked at anyone else. "I want for nothing," I'd tell her. Steely Dan's Hey Nineteen would fade out, the disk would change, and Gershwin's winds would come in, and she'd kiss me, and cymbals would crash, then drums, then drums.
"Everyday is like a holiday with you," she'd tell me. We'd declare holidays for any reason whatsoever - because it was Thursday, or because she'd gotten a bonus, or because it was hot outside, or because we deserved it damn it. We'd hide like children under the blankets, and I'd be the back spoon when she'd call her secretary to say she wouldn't be coming in she was feeling ill, and I'd smell sugar behind her ear and nuzzle her neck. She'd try not to giggle, and it felt like we were skipping school.
Picture this, a cello in my bed. In the morning we'd awaken, she'd sit up, raise her arms crossed above her head and stretch, her back long to me, her hair long down her back, the white sheets fallen away from her like Christmas wrapper from an expensive jewelry store. Beyond her, through the floor to ceiling windows, the city soared with the rising sun, steel buildings tall in the distance, and the blue sky, and she, stretching, long as the skyscrapers, framed by the view of the morning emerging. A cello in my bed. That was the music I'd wake up to.
In the beginning it was difficult to say I love you. There is no such commitment as those three words. So I never said it. I mean, I never spoke them aloud, not while she could hear. Sometimes when we'd talk on the phone and after she'd hang up, I'd tell her; or sometimes when she was fast asleep and snoring gently I'd tell her. I told her often, even if she didn't know it. I guess I couldn't help myself from feeling it, so I'd say it without her knowing. One time after making love, she lay on top of me. "Heavy?" she asked quietly, which I heard wrong, and responded to what she said, earnestly, with my heart overflowing. "I love you too!" I'd said. How she laughed at catching me! Later on, Heavy was what we'd say when we wanted to express our love. Quite fitting, I think. Towards the end, we couldn't help but express our love. I love you with all of my heart, I'd say. And I'd never meant it more in my life.
She set the standard to which every other woman in my life was measured. They never measured up.
Contentedness sitting on the rug having breakfast on the coffee table while watching telly with the love of your life. Sure, there's the passion of the nuclear fusion of two people, and there's the happiness of pastimes shared, and the excitement of discovery or rediscovery. But to be content is where it's truly at. It's like a cup of hot chocolate. With marshmallows. Yeah.
I'd miss her even while I was with her. The enormity of her absence was like a pin prick through my eye. Her leaving me dashed me on the rocks like so much scotch. I drowned my sorrows in my sorrows. That's how I feel, until now. That's why I sound like a bad romance novel.
I spoke "Don't go," like a mantra, varying my delivery like it would make a difference – trying to be witty and dashing, trying to be stern and strong, trying to gentle and earnest. She was like a combination lock that wouldn't open. Does Fabio ever have this problem?
It's been years, I think. Seems that way. "I want for nothing," I'd tell her, and I meant it. Now, I want for nothing but her.
The tragedy of break ups is hinged on a single definitive point, the moment that presents itself, and echoes in your head while you sit in darkness and wonder what happened, knowing full well what happened but wondering how you could have let it happen. In the darkness you try to figure out how you can fix it, but some things can never be fixed. And that knowledge is sharp and cold as mornings alone.
There is no greater motivation for humanity's fantasies of time machines as love lost. Regret is the worst thing to have, but sometimes it is undeniable. What if I took a deep breath and kept my mouth shut what if I communicated more what if I controlled my temper what if I listened what if I lowered my pride what if I told her how I feel what if what if what if. My heart's worn out with what ifs. These are my ghosts.
I had it all one time, and then I don't know what happened.
When she left I grew old.
There's no such thing as a good break up.
Circe told me to write about break ups. I told her no. I told her that there are so many things to write about, why would I spend my time reliving painful memories. Don't get me started, I told her, And besides, what kind of sadomasochist do you think I am? The kind that we all are, she said. You've fallen in love, and you'll fall in love again, she said. That makes you a masochist. And it's only a matter of a few fights into the relationship that you'll become a sadist.
I told her no. I wanted to write about the love of my life, and I wanted to make it happy. Did it end happy, Circe asked. No relationship ends happy if it ends, I replied. Uh-huh, she said, then go ahead and try to make it happy.
And so this last week, as I finished packing my boxes before I leave this weekend for the States, I went slowly over an old box of photos and letters that I never bothered to throw out. It was one of the last boxes I was going to pack for storage, and there was a reason I was putting it off for the last. It was full of things: papers, pictures, souvenirs, a little green book of poetry – so stuffed with memories that it couldn't shut properly. After I went through it and tried to unsuccessfully put everything back in, I realized it was a metaphor for closure.
Damn that Circe for being right. Damn Circe for getting me started. She made me remember the Love of My Life:
In the history of my life, she was the Pearl Harbor and the invention of the wheel.
After six years I still could never take my eyes off her. Few things could do that. The sky is one of them. She and I would get drunk on Steely Dan and darkness. "Did you know that Steely Dan was named after a dildo?" she said. She smiled crooked, like a careful cat. The days she let me love her were the only days I never looked at anyone else. "I want for nothing," I'd tell her. Steely Dan's Hey Nineteen would fade out, the disk would change, and Gershwin's winds would come in, and she'd kiss me, and cymbals would crash, then drums, then drums.
"Everyday is like a holiday with you," she'd tell me. We'd declare holidays for any reason whatsoever - because it was Thursday, or because she'd gotten a bonus, or because it was hot outside, or because we deserved it damn it. We'd hide like children under the blankets, and I'd be the back spoon when she'd call her secretary to say she wouldn't be coming in she was feeling ill, and I'd smell sugar behind her ear and nuzzle her neck. She'd try not to giggle, and it felt like we were skipping school.
Picture this, a cello in my bed. In the morning we'd awaken, she'd sit up, raise her arms crossed above her head and stretch, her back long to me, her hair long down her back, the white sheets fallen away from her like Christmas wrapper from an expensive jewelry store. Beyond her, through the floor to ceiling windows, the city soared with the rising sun, steel buildings tall in the distance, and the blue sky, and she, stretching, long as the skyscrapers, framed by the view of the morning emerging. A cello in my bed. That was the music I'd wake up to.
In the beginning it was difficult to say I love you. There is no such commitment as those three words. So I never said it. I mean, I never spoke them aloud, not while she could hear. Sometimes when we'd talk on the phone and after she'd hang up, I'd tell her; or sometimes when she was fast asleep and snoring gently I'd tell her. I told her often, even if she didn't know it. I guess I couldn't help myself from feeling it, so I'd say it without her knowing. One time after making love, she lay on top of me. "Heavy?" she asked quietly, which I heard wrong, and responded to what she said, earnestly, with my heart overflowing. "I love you too!" I'd said. How she laughed at catching me! Later on, Heavy was what we'd say when we wanted to express our love. Quite fitting, I think. Towards the end, we couldn't help but express our love. I love you with all of my heart, I'd say. And I'd never meant it more in my life.
She set the standard to which every other woman in my life was measured. They never measured up.
Contentedness sitting on the rug having breakfast on the coffee table while watching telly with the love of your life. Sure, there's the passion of the nuclear fusion of two people, and there's the happiness of pastimes shared, and the excitement of discovery or rediscovery. But to be content is where it's truly at. It's like a cup of hot chocolate. With marshmallows. Yeah.
I'd miss her even while I was with her. The enormity of her absence was like a pin prick through my eye. Her leaving me dashed me on the rocks like so much scotch. I drowned my sorrows in my sorrows. That's how I feel, until now. That's why I sound like a bad romance novel.
I spoke "Don't go," like a mantra, varying my delivery like it would make a difference – trying to be witty and dashing, trying to be stern and strong, trying to gentle and earnest. She was like a combination lock that wouldn't open. Does Fabio ever have this problem?
It's been years, I think. Seems that way. "I want for nothing," I'd tell her, and I meant it. Now, I want for nothing but her.
The tragedy of break ups is hinged on a single definitive point, the moment that presents itself, and echoes in your head while you sit in darkness and wonder what happened, knowing full well what happened but wondering how you could have let it happen. In the darkness you try to figure out how you can fix it, but some things can never be fixed. And that knowledge is sharp and cold as mornings alone.
There is no greater motivation for humanity's fantasies of time machines as love lost. Regret is the worst thing to have, but sometimes it is undeniable. What if I took a deep breath and kept my mouth shut what if I communicated more what if I controlled my temper what if I listened what if I lowered my pride what if I told her how I feel what if what if what if. My heart's worn out with what ifs. These are my ghosts.
I had it all one time, and then I don't know what happened.
When she left I grew old.
There's no such thing as a good break up.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Partners and Marriage
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz
I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.
When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.
How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?
The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship tosucceed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.
Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find away to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get toknow each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot seeclearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.
The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long- time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.
This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.
One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise.If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other.And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious view point on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same view point, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.
After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two ofthem. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.
Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriagecan take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speakof a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not knowt hem they would be impossible to believe. Marriage is a transformationwe choose to make.
Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.
It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power ofthis passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter. But there is positive transformation aswell. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one.
There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.
But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex. So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.
If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom... endlessly.
I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.
When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.
How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?
The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship tosucceed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.
Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find away to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get toknow each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot seeclearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.
The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long- time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.
This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.
One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise.If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other.And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious view point on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same view point, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.
After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two ofthem. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.
Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriagecan take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speakof a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not knowt hem they would be impossible to believe. Marriage is a transformationwe choose to make.
Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.
It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power ofthis passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter. But there is positive transformation aswell. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one.
There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.
But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex. So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.
If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom... endlessly.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The most beautiful rainbow.
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
What a girl needs most is LOVE.
What a guy needs most is RESPECT.
The most important thing for a girl is her HEART.
For a guy it’s his EGO.
Give your man his own TIME and SPACE. Let him have his time for his friends, sports, family, self, and GOD.
The relationship will grow old quickly if lagi kayong magkasama. Give him time to miss you and you’ll see how he will love you more.
If the guy naman is obsessed and just wants to be with you all the time, tell him you can’t respect a “puppy” for long.
Do things differently anytime. Para kahit matagal na kayo, there is always something fresh and something new. VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.
Exciting baga?
Discover something you both like to do and enjoy it TWOgether. Doon naman sa mga bagay na magkaiba ang hilig nyo, compliment each other by learning about it kahit konti.
If you love someone, yung effort nyo to try will go a looooooooong way to understand him later pag may disagreement kayo.
Pray with holding hands. Sounds corny noh? Maybe. But it is very powerful. Pag may takot sa Diyos and partner mo, kampante ka na di ka nya lolokohin, because he knows God sees everything he does in secret. Ikaw na ang magkusa that before you part after date, with hands held and eyes closed, pray to God to bless you two. Believe me, it’s effective. Kailanman, di corny ang magdasal.
Believe in “MAGIC”. Kahit minsan di practical o walang logical na dahilan, o matrabaho, o sounds crazy sa iba, do SWEET LITTLE THINGS for the one you love kahit magmukha ka ng timang. The MEMORIES will be fun to recall later in life. The corniest song o gift o letter ang laging KABOG!
TRUE LOVE brings out the best in each other. Find something good in your partner and nurture it, encourage it, and syempre, ENJOY it.
IT’S HEALTHY TO FIGHT. Doon nyo lang maaayos ang mga differences nyo at natetest ang tatag ng relationship. Doon mo rin sya makikilala ng mabuti. It’s called TEST OF FIRE. Di mahalaga how dalas you fight. What matters is HOW OFTEN YOU MAKE BATI.
Mas nakakatakot yung relasyong sobrang perfect at laging masaya. One big fight and that’s it! And diba mas kilig yung malambing na… “uy, bati na tayo…”. But don’t overdo it. Kakapagod naman din na lagi na lang manuyo o magsori. CHOOSE THE BATTLES NA PAPATULAN MO.
Daraan sa iba’t-ibang stages ang love especially pag matagal na kayo. Grow with it. Don’t expect it to be like nung una. ‘Coz like a student, din a ituturo sa Grade 6 yung lessons na pang-Grade 2. CHANGE WILL HAPPEN…you both will change and your love will change too. It’s up to you na lang if the change will be for the better or for the worse. LIFE IS ABOUT GROWTH. Grow with it.
When break-up comes and it’s time to say goodbye, don’t doubt the love just because it didn’t last. May mga bagay sa Buhay na di man nagtatagal, it doesn’t mean di na ito totoo. SOME GOOD THINGS ARE JUST NEVER MEANT TO LAST FOREVER. Okay lang yon!
Bless the parting and move on.
Expect tears, sorrow, sleepless nights and pain. Ika nga “ITS WHEN YOU HURT THE WORSE THAT YOU LOVE THE MOST.” Kung di ka willing masaktan, wag ka na lang magmahal.
LIFE is a balance. And life is both holding on and letting go. Know when to fight for your man or woman and when to let him/her go. God will guide you kung anong dapat gawin sa kung anong sitwasyon. So dapat mataas ang signal ng langit sa cellphone ng puso mo to know His wisdom.
What a guy needs most is RESPECT.
The most important thing for a girl is her HEART.
For a guy it’s his EGO.
Give your man his own TIME and SPACE. Let him have his time for his friends, sports, family, self, and GOD.
The relationship will grow old quickly if lagi kayong magkasama. Give him time to miss you and you’ll see how he will love you more.
If the guy naman is obsessed and just wants to be with you all the time, tell him you can’t respect a “puppy” for long.
Do things differently anytime. Para kahit matagal na kayo, there is always something fresh and something new. VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.
Exciting baga?
Discover something you both like to do and enjoy it TWOgether. Doon naman sa mga bagay na magkaiba ang hilig nyo, compliment each other by learning about it kahit konti.
If you love someone, yung effort nyo to try will go a looooooooong way to understand him later pag may disagreement kayo.
Pray with holding hands. Sounds corny noh? Maybe. But it is very powerful. Pag may takot sa Diyos and partner mo, kampante ka na di ka nya lolokohin, because he knows God sees everything he does in secret. Ikaw na ang magkusa that before you part after date, with hands held and eyes closed, pray to God to bless you two. Believe me, it’s effective. Kailanman, di corny ang magdasal.
Believe in “MAGIC”. Kahit minsan di practical o walang logical na dahilan, o matrabaho, o sounds crazy sa iba, do SWEET LITTLE THINGS for the one you love kahit magmukha ka ng timang. The MEMORIES will be fun to recall later in life. The corniest song o gift o letter ang laging KABOG!
TRUE LOVE brings out the best in each other. Find something good in your partner and nurture it, encourage it, and syempre, ENJOY it.
IT’S HEALTHY TO FIGHT. Doon nyo lang maaayos ang mga differences nyo at natetest ang tatag ng relationship. Doon mo rin sya makikilala ng mabuti. It’s called TEST OF FIRE. Di mahalaga how dalas you fight. What matters is HOW OFTEN YOU MAKE BATI.
Mas nakakatakot yung relasyong sobrang perfect at laging masaya. One big fight and that’s it! And diba mas kilig yung malambing na… “uy, bati na tayo…”. But don’t overdo it. Kakapagod naman din na lagi na lang manuyo o magsori. CHOOSE THE BATTLES NA PAPATULAN MO.
Daraan sa iba’t-ibang stages ang love especially pag matagal na kayo. Grow with it. Don’t expect it to be like nung una. ‘Coz like a student, din a ituturo sa Grade 6 yung lessons na pang-Grade 2. CHANGE WILL HAPPEN…you both will change and your love will change too. It’s up to you na lang if the change will be for the better or for the worse. LIFE IS ABOUT GROWTH. Grow with it.
When break-up comes and it’s time to say goodbye, don’t doubt the love just because it didn’t last. May mga bagay sa Buhay na di man nagtatagal, it doesn’t mean di na ito totoo. SOME GOOD THINGS ARE JUST NEVER MEANT TO LAST FOREVER. Okay lang yon!
Bless the parting and move on.
Expect tears, sorrow, sleepless nights and pain. Ika nga “ITS WHEN YOU HURT THE WORSE THAT YOU LOVE THE MOST.” Kung di ka willing masaktan, wag ka na lang magmahal.
LIFE is a balance. And life is both holding on and letting go. Know when to fight for your man or woman and when to let him/her go. God will guide you kung anong dapat gawin sa kung anong sitwasyon. So dapat mataas ang signal ng langit sa cellphone ng puso mo to know His wisdom.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
best things in life
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy or kitten.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy or kitten.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
hatred and break-ups
Love is a beautiful feeling. But the flip side of love is hatred. Hatred overwhelms a person when he/she feels cheated and after that it is sadness all the way. If a break-up occurs and hatred remains, that will eat away the vitals of the sufferer. Why do lovers begin hating each other with more intensity than they loved? There is nothing mysterious about it.
We hate somebody when we feel that a person played a dirty game with us. We hate when we feel cheated by someone. We hate someone when we feel that we are not getting our due. Hatred may be justified or unjustified in some cases. Psychologically disturbed persons may hate for no discernible reason. But a lot of hatred involves reality.
Sometimes, a person wants unreasonable demands fulfilled. When these demands are not met, he/she hates the person who could not do that. No amount of explanation will help. The primary desire is get demands fulfilled, that is not possible and the answer is hatred and not understanding. The break-up takes place after that. Many times the hatred is totally justified. A person who gets killed will hate the perpetrator of the crime. We are speaking about emotional killing.
Such break-ups that end with one person full of hatred have no possibility of any reconciliation. That break-up saddens both the partners. The need is to understand the true nature of your partner and break up sooner than later. Wishful thinking is not good in certain circumstances.
We hate somebody when we feel that a person played a dirty game with us. We hate when we feel cheated by someone. We hate someone when we feel that we are not getting our due. Hatred may be justified or unjustified in some cases. Psychologically disturbed persons may hate for no discernible reason. But a lot of hatred involves reality.
Sometimes, a person wants unreasonable demands fulfilled. When these demands are not met, he/she hates the person who could not do that. No amount of explanation will help. The primary desire is get demands fulfilled, that is not possible and the answer is hatred and not understanding. The break-up takes place after that. Many times the hatred is totally justified. A person who gets killed will hate the perpetrator of the crime. We are speaking about emotional killing.
Such break-ups that end with one person full of hatred have no possibility of any reconciliation. That break-up saddens both the partners. The need is to understand the true nature of your partner and break up sooner than later. Wishful thinking is not good in certain circumstances.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
you decide
CONFLICT:
the one you love or the one who loves you?
COMPARISON:
* the one you love will keep you hoping but the one who loves you will offer you everything
* the one you love can give you a moment but the one who loves you can give you eternity
* the one you love can ease your pain yet the one who loves you can take the pain & own it instead, and
* the one you love could break your heart & the one who loves you will do anything to rebuild it..
CHOICE:
Its up to you.
the one you love or the one who loves you?
COMPARISON:
* the one you love will keep you hoping but the one who loves you will offer you everything
* the one you love can give you a moment but the one who loves you can give you eternity
* the one you love can ease your pain yet the one who loves you can take the pain & own it instead, and
* the one you love could break your heart & the one who loves you will do anything to rebuild it..
CHOICE:
Its up to you.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
to those nice girls.
To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be that they are doing something wrong.
For the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood.
Homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention.
For the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds."
This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.
This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after another girl.
This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.
This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone.
This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech.
For the night his dog died and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had.
For the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.
Men complain that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging. Therein lies the truth, guys: nice girls are everywhere.
So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running, they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.
So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)
But hurry. Sometimes the nice girl gets sick of waiting.
For the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood.
Homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention.
For the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds."
This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.
This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after another girl.
This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.
This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone.
This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech.
For the night his dog died and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had.
For the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.
Men complain that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging. Therein lies the truth, guys: nice girls are everywhere.
So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running, they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.
So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)
But hurry. Sometimes the nice girl gets sick of waiting.
Friday, March 21, 2008
why you're really single..
NAGTATAKA KA BA KUNG BAKIT KA PA SINGLE?
SINGLE: Minsan ayos lang kase free na free ka gawin kung ano ang gusto mo o kaya makakapunta ka kung saan mo gusto pumunta pero kung minsan, lalo na't malamig ang hanging o kya maganda ung view, magwiwish ka na sana may yumayakap sa yo, hahalikan ka sa noo at tititignan ka ng parang ikaw na ata ang pinakamagandang babae sa mundo. nakakamiss yun.
Kaya heto, susubukan ko bilangin ang mga dahilan kung bakit single pa tayo. Gaano katagal na ba tayo walang nagiging boyfriend?
1. Masyadong independent
Baka naman masyado mo napoproject na kaya mong mabuhay ng wala silang lahat, ayan tuloy parang hindi nila maramdaman na kailangan mo rin sila kaya dun nalang sila sa taong tingin nila ay magkakaron sila ng silbi.
2. Mataas ang standards mo
Siguro hindi na natanggal sa isip mo ung pangarap mo nung bata ka pa. aba, kelangan mo na gumising sa katotohanan na walang ideal guy. ok cge, kung makita mo nga ung hinahanap mo na gwapong matalino na mayaman na mabait pero nung nakasama mo naman eh nakita mo hindi pala pantay ang kuko niya sa hinlalaki o kaya naman sobrang bad breath niya sa umaga o kaya naman daig pa ang tambucho sa lakas manigarilyo...oh eh di turn-off ka na? kung lahat ng tao ay katulad mo na mataas ang standards, malamang wala ng magboyfriend at maggirlfriend ngayon. puro friends nalang.
3. Ubod ka ng kasungitan
Maski naman kahit sino hindi masarap lapitan at kausapin ang taong mukhang nangangain ng tao tapos liligawan pa? dapat kc kahit konti maging approachable ka naman para kahit na hindi ka kagandahan, madidiskubre niya na masarap ka palang kausap at masaya kang kasama.
4. Masama ang ugali
Kung papipiliin ako kung sa masungit at sa masama ang ugali, dun na ko sa masungit! ang masungit kc, hindi likas na itim ang budhi nyan, may taglay na istorya sa likod ng simangot niya. sabihan mo lang yan ng 'peek-a-boo' BAKA ngitian ka na. ibang istorya na kase ang masama ang ugali dahil mula pa yang ugali na yan sa kaibuturan ng kanyang mga balunbalunan. sa una mabait pero madidiskubre mo na parang trapo ang tao kung tratuhin nito. tsk tsk tsk. pero hindi pa naman huli ang lahat, kung kaya mo pa magbago, bigyan mo ng pagkakataon ang sarilli mo magbago. magdasal ka kay lord. ng mataimtim ha.
5. Nagkukulong sa bahay
Walang makaka-appreciate sa panloob o panlabas na beauty mo kung nagkukulong ka lang sa bahay. ok, nanjan nga ang nanay mo para sabihin na maganda ka pero im sure umay na umay na rin yan sa pagmumukha mo kaya mas maigi kung lumabas ka...pagkagaling sa office, pwede ka magmall o kya gumimik kasama mga officemates mo, o kaya naman sumali sa mga organization sa simbahan or sa neighborhood.
6. Mukha kang losyang
Ito ang kadalasang krimen ng mga single. hindi ka nagbibigay ng panahon para ayusin ang sarili physically. at bakit pa nga ba e wala ka naman dahilan para mag-ayos, diba? MALI!!! dapat nga lalo ka mag-ayos para makita ang marketability mo. hindi krimen ang maging vain kahit konti. did u know na ang ratio ng lalaki sa babae ay 4:1? kaya lola, magsimula ka na mag-ayos at baka yung crush mo ay maagaw pa ng mga intrimitida sa paligid mo.
7. Masyadong magaling
Medyo sensitive itong tapic na ito dahil nasasagasaan na ang male ego dito eh. oo, may ibang lalake na nabuburaot dahil mas magaling at mas marunong ang babae sa kanila. hindi na natin ito problema dahil malamang insecurity nila ang bumubulong sa kanila pero minsan kase hindi na makatarungan na laging nai-inferior ang lalake. kailangan maramdaman din nila saiyo na hindi mo sila ia-under the saya if maging girlfriend ka nila. hindi ko rin sinasabi na icompromise mo ang talents mo, ano bang magagawa ko kung likas na talentadong bata ka pero ang tamang gawin ay wag naman ipagdukdukan na sobrang galing mong tao. wag na wag mong kalimutan ng may 2 klaseng yabang dito sa mundo. wag kang mang-intimidate kung ayaw mong maintimidate.
8. Sobrang busy
Alam mo ba ung kantang 'Narda'? ganyan ang mangyayari sa iyo, hanggang kanta nalang ang aabutin ng nagkakagusto sayo dahil maski pagpluck ng kilay mo wala kang time.
9. Dala ang bigat ng kahapon
May kasabihan nga, "how can u look forward when u keep looking back?" walang mangyayari sa love life mo kung dala mo pa ang kabiguan na dinulot ng nakaraan mo. walang sense ang magpakabitter dahil in the end, lalo ka lang papanget. panget na nga, bitter pa. tsaka wag kang matakot masaktan kung gusto mo magmahal muli. laging kaakibat ng love ang pain dahil hindi ka masasaktan kung hindi ka nagmahal. at isa pa, wag ka ring matakot na kunin ang pagkakataon kung nandiyan na sa harap mo. pano mo malalaman na masarap ang chocolate kung hindi mo titikman?
10. Masyadong masyado
Masyado maganda, masyadong matalino, masyadong talented, at masyado mayaman. minsan ito ang mga nagiging factor kung bakit walang gustong manligaw sayo. pero hindi mo naman ito kasalanan diba? katulad din ito ng scenario sa #7. siguro mas maigi kung humble lang ka, wag mayabang, at imbis na maging hambog, share nalang the blessing. hindi ka lang maganda/matalino/talented/mayaman, mabait pa. im sure, lahat mahuhumaling sayo.
At eto ang pinakamatindi sa lahat:
11. Wala sa guhit ng palad mo ang magkaboyfriend
Shiyet ang saklap naman nito kung ganun nga. hindi purkit na hindi ka na magkakaboyfriend ay loser ka na. malamang may nakalaan na plano sayo si Lord kaya gusto niya na wala kang boyfriend. siguro kaya wala kang boyfriend dahil kelangan ang full attention mo sa pagtulong sa pagtaguyod ng pamilya mo, baka yayaman ka at magiging tagapagmana mo mga pamangkin mo, baka kelangan ang full time and support mo sa organization mo...maraming dahilan eh pero nakakasiguro naman ako na walang bagay na nangyayari sayo na hindi kagustuhan ng nasa itaas. laging may greater purpose kung bakit nangyayari ang nangyayari.
kaya kung halimbawang may darating, wag na pakyeme. kung hindi mo type ang lalapit sayo, let it go gracefully dahil mahirap na at baka balikan ka ng karma. kung nandyan na, gawin nalang ang best para magstay siya sa buhay mo at hindi ka na nagtataka pa kung bakit single ka.
SINGLE: Minsan ayos lang kase free na free ka gawin kung ano ang gusto mo o kaya makakapunta ka kung saan mo gusto pumunta pero kung minsan, lalo na't malamig ang hanging o kya maganda ung view, magwiwish ka na sana may yumayakap sa yo, hahalikan ka sa noo at tititignan ka ng parang ikaw na ata ang pinakamagandang babae sa mundo. nakakamiss yun.
Kaya heto, susubukan ko bilangin ang mga dahilan kung bakit single pa tayo. Gaano katagal na ba tayo walang nagiging boyfriend?
1. Masyadong independent
Baka naman masyado mo napoproject na kaya mong mabuhay ng wala silang lahat, ayan tuloy parang hindi nila maramdaman na kailangan mo rin sila kaya dun nalang sila sa taong tingin nila ay magkakaron sila ng silbi.
2. Mataas ang standards mo
Siguro hindi na natanggal sa isip mo ung pangarap mo nung bata ka pa. aba, kelangan mo na gumising sa katotohanan na walang ideal guy. ok cge, kung makita mo nga ung hinahanap mo na gwapong matalino na mayaman na mabait pero nung nakasama mo naman eh nakita mo hindi pala pantay ang kuko niya sa hinlalaki o kaya naman sobrang bad breath niya sa umaga o kaya naman daig pa ang tambucho sa lakas manigarilyo...oh eh di turn-off ka na? kung lahat ng tao ay katulad mo na mataas ang standards, malamang wala ng magboyfriend at maggirlfriend ngayon. puro friends nalang.
3. Ubod ka ng kasungitan
Maski naman kahit sino hindi masarap lapitan at kausapin ang taong mukhang nangangain ng tao tapos liligawan pa? dapat kc kahit konti maging approachable ka naman para kahit na hindi ka kagandahan, madidiskubre niya na masarap ka palang kausap at masaya kang kasama.
4. Masama ang ugali
Kung papipiliin ako kung sa masungit at sa masama ang ugali, dun na ko sa masungit! ang masungit kc, hindi likas na itim ang budhi nyan, may taglay na istorya sa likod ng simangot niya. sabihan mo lang yan ng 'peek-a-boo' BAKA ngitian ka na. ibang istorya na kase ang masama ang ugali dahil mula pa yang ugali na yan sa kaibuturan ng kanyang mga balunbalunan. sa una mabait pero madidiskubre mo na parang trapo ang tao kung tratuhin nito. tsk tsk tsk. pero hindi pa naman huli ang lahat, kung kaya mo pa magbago, bigyan mo ng pagkakataon ang sarilli mo magbago. magdasal ka kay lord. ng mataimtim ha.
5. Nagkukulong sa bahay
Walang makaka-appreciate sa panloob o panlabas na beauty mo kung nagkukulong ka lang sa bahay. ok, nanjan nga ang nanay mo para sabihin na maganda ka pero im sure umay na umay na rin yan sa pagmumukha mo kaya mas maigi kung lumabas ka...pagkagaling sa office, pwede ka magmall o kya gumimik kasama mga officemates mo, o kaya naman sumali sa mga organization sa simbahan or sa neighborhood.
6. Mukha kang losyang
Ito ang kadalasang krimen ng mga single. hindi ka nagbibigay ng panahon para ayusin ang sarili physically. at bakit pa nga ba e wala ka naman dahilan para mag-ayos, diba? MALI!!! dapat nga lalo ka mag-ayos para makita ang marketability mo. hindi krimen ang maging vain kahit konti. did u know na ang ratio ng lalaki sa babae ay 4:1? kaya lola, magsimula ka na mag-ayos at baka yung crush mo ay maagaw pa ng mga intrimitida sa paligid mo.
7. Masyadong magaling
Medyo sensitive itong tapic na ito dahil nasasagasaan na ang male ego dito eh. oo, may ibang lalake na nabuburaot dahil mas magaling at mas marunong ang babae sa kanila. hindi na natin ito problema dahil malamang insecurity nila ang bumubulong sa kanila pero minsan kase hindi na makatarungan na laging nai-inferior ang lalake. kailangan maramdaman din nila saiyo na hindi mo sila ia-under the saya if maging girlfriend ka nila. hindi ko rin sinasabi na icompromise mo ang talents mo, ano bang magagawa ko kung likas na talentadong bata ka pero ang tamang gawin ay wag naman ipagdukdukan na sobrang galing mong tao. wag na wag mong kalimutan ng may 2 klaseng yabang dito sa mundo. wag kang mang-intimidate kung ayaw mong maintimidate.
8. Sobrang busy
Alam mo ba ung kantang 'Narda'? ganyan ang mangyayari sa iyo, hanggang kanta nalang ang aabutin ng nagkakagusto sayo dahil maski pagpluck ng kilay mo wala kang time.
9. Dala ang bigat ng kahapon
May kasabihan nga, "how can u look forward when u keep looking back?" walang mangyayari sa love life mo kung dala mo pa ang kabiguan na dinulot ng nakaraan mo. walang sense ang magpakabitter dahil in the end, lalo ka lang papanget. panget na nga, bitter pa. tsaka wag kang matakot masaktan kung gusto mo magmahal muli. laging kaakibat ng love ang pain dahil hindi ka masasaktan kung hindi ka nagmahal. at isa pa, wag ka ring matakot na kunin ang pagkakataon kung nandiyan na sa harap mo. pano mo malalaman na masarap ang chocolate kung hindi mo titikman?
10. Masyadong masyado
Masyado maganda, masyadong matalino, masyadong talented, at masyado mayaman. minsan ito ang mga nagiging factor kung bakit walang gustong manligaw sayo. pero hindi mo naman ito kasalanan diba? katulad din ito ng scenario sa #7. siguro mas maigi kung humble lang ka, wag mayabang, at imbis na maging hambog, share nalang the blessing. hindi ka lang maganda/matalino/talented/mayaman, mabait pa. im sure, lahat mahuhumaling sayo.
At eto ang pinakamatindi sa lahat:
11. Wala sa guhit ng palad mo ang magkaboyfriend
Shiyet ang saklap naman nito kung ganun nga. hindi purkit na hindi ka na magkakaboyfriend ay loser ka na. malamang may nakalaan na plano sayo si Lord kaya gusto niya na wala kang boyfriend. siguro kaya wala kang boyfriend dahil kelangan ang full attention mo sa pagtulong sa pagtaguyod ng pamilya mo, baka yayaman ka at magiging tagapagmana mo mga pamangkin mo, baka kelangan ang full time and support mo sa organization mo...maraming dahilan eh pero nakakasiguro naman ako na walang bagay na nangyayari sayo na hindi kagustuhan ng nasa itaas. laging may greater purpose kung bakit nangyayari ang nangyayari.
kaya kung halimbawang may darating, wag na pakyeme. kung hindi mo type ang lalapit sayo, let it go gracefully dahil mahirap na at baka balikan ka ng karma. kung nandyan na, gawin nalang ang best para magstay siya sa buhay mo at hindi ka na nagtataka pa kung bakit single ka.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
drop dead lines.
HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.
HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.
HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?
HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?
HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.
HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.
HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.
HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.
HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.
HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.
HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.
HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?
HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?
HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.
HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.
HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.
HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.
HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.
HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
30 things guys should know about girls
[1] Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.
[2] Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.
[3] Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the d*mn hat.
[4] Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.
[5] Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.
[6] If they slap you hard, you deserved it.
[7] Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with
you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.
[8] If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did and if you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.
[9] You can be dirty minded in private, really . . . most of them are not offended by it.
[10] Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.
[11] Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy. But . . .
[11½ ] . . . do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay
all the time!
[12] Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and some type of jewelery. Even if it's not a serious
relationship.
[13] Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.
[14] If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the sh*t out of him.
[15] If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.
[16] Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
[17] Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
[18] You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.
[19] Don't flirt with their moms . . . that's just freaky.
[20] Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like sh*t, so be understanding.
[21] If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.
[22] If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.
[23] Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.
[24] If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.
[25] Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.
[26] Memorize their goddamn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.
[27] Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.
[28] Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is
always nice.
[29] If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.
[30] After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more
responsibility, priviledge and control than you would think. Be careful with
it, most guys would kill for that kind.
[2] Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.
[3] Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the d*mn hat.
[4] Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.
[5] Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.
[6] If they slap you hard, you deserved it.
[7] Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with
you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.
[8] If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did and if you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.
[9] You can be dirty minded in private, really . . . most of them are not offended by it.
[10] Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.
[11] Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy. But . . .
[11½ ] . . . do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay
all the time!
[12] Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and some type of jewelery. Even if it's not a serious
relationship.
[13] Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.
[14] If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the sh*t out of him.
[15] If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.
[16] Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
[17] Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
[18] You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.
[19] Don't flirt with their moms . . . that's just freaky.
[20] Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like sh*t, so be understanding.
[21] If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.
[22] If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.
[23] Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.
[24] If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.
[25] Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.
[26] Memorize their goddamn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.
[27] Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.
[28] Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is
always nice.
[29] If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.
[30] After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more
responsibility, priviledge and control than you would think. Be careful with
it, most guys would kill for that kind.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Some rules for Surviving the Game of Love
Do not fall in love everytime you fall in bed.
... Learn to detach emotionally.
Sex does not equal commitment.
Do not revolve your entire life around him/her.
... Addiction is bad for your health!
Do not cling, act needy or demand.
... Doormats are for your feet, not your heart.
It's OK to say NO!
Stop talking so much. NEVER reveal everything.
Do not grill them or their friends for information.
Master the art of LISTENING.
Treat him/her as you would your best friend.
Friendship creates long term love and comes before sex.
FORGET about fixing your partner. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
Your choice of partner is a reflection of who you are and who you are not!
Enjoy the moment first. Live in the present.
... Don't worry about the ex's or start naming your future children.
NEVER read their journal or go through their paperwork.
... If you have no trust, you have no relationship.
Allow space and freedom between you.
DO NOT always be available.
Calling frequently is a turn off and signals insecurity, neediness and control.
Open your eyes to lies and cheating, OR... close them, justify the bad behavior, and live with the consequences.
Little or no eye contact? Start walking. They won't even notice your gone.
Anyone preoccupied with their physical appearance and dress, usually have very little or nothing to offer from within.
... Look beyond the physical!
Never compromise your values.
If you OVER give, you will lose your lover and his respect. DO NOT LOSE YOUR IDENTITY.
December/May relationships are great. However, seasons change and the May lover will sooner or later, hear the call of Spring.
If someone REALLY wants to be with you, they will be.
Sleeping with a married man?! Don't count on him divorcing anytime soon.
State your personal rules in the very beginning or expect them to be broken.
If they ask to be just friends, be just that and look elsewhere for a love partner.
If someone wants to really be with you, they will. If they keep giving reasons for not calling or say they are extremely busy, GET THE HINT, leave them alone.
Marriage before thirty is an inevitable celebration for divorce.
Don't ever give up your friends for him/her.
If your partner one day leaves you, be sure you have friends, money, a career and a life of your own which you never gave up.
... If you do not, who do you have to blame but yourself!
"Hopeless romantics are only hopeless in the eyes of those who don't believe in romance"
You can't help who is it that you fall in love with, whether they are older or younger, taller or shorter, completely opposite or just like you...
... Learn to detach emotionally.
Sex does not equal commitment.
Do not revolve your entire life around him/her.
... Addiction is bad for your health!
Do not cling, act needy or demand.
... Doormats are for your feet, not your heart.
It's OK to say NO!
Stop talking so much. NEVER reveal everything.
Do not grill them or their friends for information.
Master the art of LISTENING.
Treat him/her as you would your best friend.
Friendship creates long term love and comes before sex.
FORGET about fixing your partner. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
Your choice of partner is a reflection of who you are and who you are not!
Enjoy the moment first. Live in the present.
... Don't worry about the ex's or start naming your future children.
NEVER read their journal or go through their paperwork.
... If you have no trust, you have no relationship.
Allow space and freedom between you.
DO NOT always be available.
Calling frequently is a turn off and signals insecurity, neediness and control.
Open your eyes to lies and cheating, OR... close them, justify the bad behavior, and live with the consequences.
Little or no eye contact? Start walking. They won't even notice your gone.
Anyone preoccupied with their physical appearance and dress, usually have very little or nothing to offer from within.
... Look beyond the physical!
Never compromise your values.
If you OVER give, you will lose your lover and his respect. DO NOT LOSE YOUR IDENTITY.
December/May relationships are great. However, seasons change and the May lover will sooner or later, hear the call of Spring.
If someone REALLY wants to be with you, they will be.
Sleeping with a married man?! Don't count on him divorcing anytime soon.
State your personal rules in the very beginning or expect them to be broken.
If they ask to be just friends, be just that and look elsewhere for a love partner.
If someone wants to really be with you, they will. If they keep giving reasons for not calling or say they are extremely busy, GET THE HINT, leave them alone.
Marriage before thirty is an inevitable celebration for divorce.
Don't ever give up your friends for him/her.
If your partner one day leaves you, be sure you have friends, money, a career and a life of your own which you never gave up.
... If you do not, who do you have to blame but yourself!
"Hopeless romantics are only hopeless in the eyes of those who don't believe in romance"
You can't help who is it that you fall in love with, whether they are older or younger, taller or shorter, completely opposite or just like you...
Monday, March 17, 2008
love it is
It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.
It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.
It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.
It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.
It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.
It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.
It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.
It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.
It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.
It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.
It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.
It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.
... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.
It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.
It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.
It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.
It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.
It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.
It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.
It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.
It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.
It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.
It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.
It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.
... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Every woman should know
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... And
WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change
The length of her calves,
The width of her hips, or
The nature of her parents...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood
May not have been Perfect...
But; It's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and Wouldn't
Do for love or money...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone...
Even if She doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust, Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't Take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go..
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
Or a charming inn in the woods...
When her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish
In a day...
A month...
And a year...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... And
WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change
The length of her calves,
The width of her hips, or
The nature of her parents...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood
May not have been Perfect...
But; It's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and Wouldn't
Do for love or money...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone...
Even if She doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust, Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't Take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go..
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
Or a charming inn in the woods...
When her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish
In a day...
A month...
And a year...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
written by a guy
Message:
men don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls OR TEXTS you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/ gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood I'min.
let us pay for you! don't "feel bad" We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say "thank you."
Kiss us when no one's watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are. honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her mj's. or myshirt and boxers, not all dolled up
Don't take everything we sayseriously. [=))]
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
"Don't talk about how hot Chris Brown,Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us".It's boring, and we don't care. You have friends for that.
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful" i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Heybaby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of. on the other hand I'm not saying i wouldn't like it ether ; )
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, won't wait for him to change. ditch his sorry ASS, he's a disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....
and say "i love you"
..and actually mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.
men don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls OR TEXTS you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/ gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood I'min.
let us pay for you! don't "feel bad" We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say "thank you."
Kiss us when no one's watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are. honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her mj's. or myshirt and boxers, not all dolled up
Don't take everything we sayseriously. [=))]
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
"Don't talk about how hot Chris Brown,Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us".It's boring, and we don't care. You have friends for that.
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful" i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Heybaby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of. on the other hand I'm not saying i wouldn't like it ether ; )
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, won't wait for him to change. ditch his sorry ASS, he's a disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....
and say "i love you"
..and actually mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.
Friday, March 14, 2008
*Holding Hands
Girls :
If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys :
Grab it if it happens more than once.
*Cuddling
Girls :
When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.
*Movies
Girls :
During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys :
Lift her chin up and kiss her.
*Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.
*Laying below the stars
Girls :
When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys :
Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.
Girls :
If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys :
Grab it if it happens more than once.
*Cuddling
Girls :
When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.
*Movies
Girls :
During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys :
Lift her chin up and kiss her.
*Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.
*Laying below the stars
Girls :
When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys :
Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
In Finding Love
Find for yourself someone whose: Not necessarily rich, but classy and not afraid to be goofy at times.
Not necessarily stunningly handsome/beautiful, but can be whenever he/she wants to.
Not necessarily conservative, but values himself/herself enough to live life with limits and set for himself/herself rules ( that can bend ONLY for you )
Love someone whose heart have been broken, so he/she knews exactly how it feels, and wont breaks yours...
Not necessarily stunningly handsome/beautiful, but can be whenever he/she wants to.
Not necessarily conservative, but values himself/herself enough to live life with limits and set for himself/herself rules ( that can bend ONLY for you )
Love someone whose heart have been broken, so he/she knews exactly how it feels, and wont breaks yours...
Sunday, January 20, 2008
10 things to avoid when in a relatonship
1. never flirt when your taken
2. never fall inlove to others, stay inlove with your partner
3. never lie
4. never go out without your partners permission
5. never go out for a date with other person
6. never do things that will hurt your partner
7. never stay quiet, say your feelings when your hurting
8. never call or text a person when you know your partner would be jealous
9. never kiss and hug with an opposite sex
10. never say PROMISES if you cant keep
2. never fall inlove to others, stay inlove with your partner
3. never lie
4. never go out without your partners permission
5. never go out for a date with other person
6. never do things that will hurt your partner
7. never stay quiet, say your feelings when your hurting
8. never call or text a person when you know your partner would be jealous
9. never kiss and hug with an opposite sex
10. never say PROMISES if you cant keep
Thursday, January 10, 2008
11 painful things
1.bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget
2. reminising the good times
3. trying to hide what you've really feeling
4. loving someone who loves another
5. having a commitment with someone that you know wouldn't last
6. fighting back the love you're feeling
7. loving a person too much
8. right love at the wrong time
9. taking risk to fall in love again
10. accepting that it was never meant to be
11. what ifs..
2. reminising the good times
3. trying to hide what you've really feeling
4. loving someone who loves another
5. having a commitment with someone that you know wouldn't last
6. fighting back the love you're feeling
7. loving a person too much
8. right love at the wrong time
9. taking risk to fall in love again
10. accepting that it was never meant to be
11. what ifs..
Monday, January 07, 2008
only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is
Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived:
Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love.
One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.
Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, love decided it was time to leave.
She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, Richness, Can I come with u on ur boat? Richness answered, I’m sorry, but there is a lot of silver & gold on my boat & there would be no room for u anywhere. Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, Vanity, help me please. I can't help u, Vanity said, "u are all wet & will damage my beautiful boat.
Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, Sadness please let me go with u. Sadness answered, Love, I'm sorry, but I just need to be alone now. Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, Happiness, please take me with u. But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, Come Love, I will take u with me. It was an elder. Love felt so blessed & overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.
When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge & asked who was it that helped me? It was Time, Knowledge answered. But why did Time help me when no one else would? Love asked. Knowledge smiled & with deep wisdom & sincerity, answered, Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is….
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. And moreover Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived…
Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love.
One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.
Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, love decided it was time to leave.
She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, Richness, Can I come with u on ur boat? Richness answered, I’m sorry, but there is a lot of silver & gold on my boat & there would be no room for u anywhere. Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, Vanity, help me please. I can't help u, Vanity said, "u are all wet & will damage my beautiful boat.
Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, Sadness please let me go with u. Sadness answered, Love, I'm sorry, but I just need to be alone now. Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, Happiness, please take me with u. But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, Come Love, I will take u with me. It was an elder. Love felt so blessed & overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.
When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge & asked who was it that helped me? It was Time, Knowledge answered. But why did Time help me when no one else would? Love asked. Knowledge smiled & with deep wisdom & sincerity, answered, Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is….
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. And moreover Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived…
Sunday, January 06, 2008
thought.
"Where does it come from, this quest? This need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered? Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving, not yearning. But that's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here. Yet still we struggle to make a difference, to change the world, to dream of hope, never knowing for certain who we will meet along the way. Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand, touch our hearts, and share the pain and triumph? We dream of hope, we dream of change, of fire, of love, of death. And then it happens; the dream becomes real, and the answer to this quest, this need to solve life's mysteries finally shows itself like the glowing light of the new dawn. So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic and the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred. To connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone."
Saturday, January 05, 2008
the Wedding
i read this at a friend's site. and i had just to post this. this is not my story or a friend's. this is just so bittersweet. and sadyang not meant to be. damn...
My knees were shaking as I glanced at him, "my ex-boyfriend".. he's with someone malamang girlfriend nya.
I pretend na di ko cia nakita, but he grabbed my shoulder bag at napalingon ako.. alam ko cia ang humila ng bag ko.. "chesk" (as usual na tawag nya sa akin) at parang wala lang, I said "hi" kanina pa daw nya ako nakita hindi lang daw ako namamansin, sabi ko na lang cencia, I was busy fixing my things, sabay smile.
he asked me If I received the invitation of his wedding..saka ko lang naalala ikakasal na nga pala cia, kelan? 3 days from now..date pa yun ng anniversary namin.. the man I loved before is announcing the date of his wedding with this curly haired lady in front of me.. the man who's deeply in love with me before..*sigh**..
it's been 2 years since we last talked, siguro masasabi kong.. I missed him, so much... hindi lang talaga maganda ang naging paghihiwalay namin, may mga bagay talaga na dapat ayusin, mga bagay na nasira sa mga hindi inaasahang pangyayari.. pero akala ko lang pala yon, akala ko lang na magiging maayos ang lahat.
as I opened the invitation,napansin ko agad ang date.. anniversary nga namin dati.. una kong naisip inaasar nya ako tamang ganti lang sa mga ginawa ko noon.. pero hindi ako nagpaasar. Eto nga at nakikipagchikahan pa ako sa harap ng kanyang fiancée. Bakit? Dahil ba wala lang sa akin? Ayos lang na makipagbolahan ako dito sa kanilang dalawa??.. O magaling lang ako magtago ng nararamdaman? Ang hirap kaya ng ginagawa ko ngayon, trying to be nice with them.
Naah!! Nagsisi na ako noon, ayoko na magsisi ulit ngayon. Gusto kong ipakita sa kanya na masaya ako para sa kanilang dalawa. oo dapat may ayusin pa akong mga bagay bagay, pero naisip ko para saan pa? wala naman na akong babalikan, wala naman na akong pagbabawian sa kasalanang nagawa ko.. pero kung alam nya lang..sobrang nagsisi ako sa mga nangyari.. kung alam nya lang kung anong mga gusto kong sabihin ngayon..
hindi ko cia iniwan, nawala lang ako saglit para ihulma ang sarili ko sa kung sino mang gusto nyang maging ako..pero cympre hindi nya ako naintindihan…pero umaasa ako na kahit papano..sana.. alam nya yon..
"we have to go cheska" nasabi ng kanyang fiancée, "aasahan ka namin sa kasal"
"ah.. uhm yah.. p-pupunta ako" ngiti lang sakin si Ace
"c-congratulations.." habol ko pa
*hinga ng malalim**..
*Sa Church**
Exactly 2pm kami dumating sa church..kasama ko best friend kong si Jelai chinika na agad nya ako, ano daw ba ang nararamdaman ko na hindi ako ang bride ni Ace, sagot ko "wala lang".. She just smiled at me, thinking that "wala lang" nga talaga.. pero kung alam nya lang, I wanted to shout in front of everybody.. gusto kong ipaalam na ako ang dapat na inaabangan ng lahat ngayon..
pero hndi pa ako baliw para gawin ang mga walang kwentang bagay na yon dahil lang sa lalaking mahal ko pa rin "ata"?
after 10mins, the ceremony started.
I noticed the motif, it was pink..my favorite color. I asked the girl beside me kung sinong nag asikaso ng lahat ng ito.. she said si Ace daw.. tango lang ako..
as I was quietly sitting there.. while watching the couples, there was a girl beside them who motioned forward to pick her microphone. Sabi ko medyo malilibang na ako, gusto ko kasing nakakapanood ng mga kumakanta..
afterwards, she started to sing..
*pause**..
I know the song.. I almost cried when I hear that.. that's our theme song.. how dare him played that song na nandito ako.. hindi ko magets kung ano man ang gusto nyang palabasin? Kung nananadya ba cia? O talagang inaasar nya lang ako?..
"you may now kiss your bride"..
Di ko na napansing natapos ang kanta dahil sa mga sunod sunod na pumasok sa isip ko.
..he looked at me first before he kissed his wife..
gusto ko ciang batuhin ng sapatos ko sa mga ginagawa nya..kelangan kong makahanap ng tiyempo para maconfront cia.. para maintindihan ko ang mga nangyayari.. pinag kakaisahan ba nila ako? O feeling ko lang yun?..
tapos na ang kasal, hindi na maganda ang mood ko, bakit pa kasi ako nag-i-stay? Lalo lang akong naiinsulto sa mga nakikita ko sa paligid, mas maraming bagay lang akong nakikita na nagpapaalala noong kami pa.. I really have to go, I have no purpose of being here.. *kinakausap ko na ang sarili ko** walang lingon lingon akong naglakad papalayo.. kelangan kong makalabas ng simbahan agad..
sige cheska, almost there..
It was two steps away from the opened door of the church when unexpectedly..
"where are you going?"
I slowly faced him with teary eyes,
there was a long awkward pause.
"what are you doing??"
i looked straight at him.. "that was supposed to be.. my question.."
his eyes were full of questions.. we just stared at each other..
after a few seconds, I sighed more heavily.. and then..
"how dare you play our song in your wedding ceremony?,
how dare you pick my favorite color as your motif?,
how dare you choose our anniversary date as your wedding date?"
my tears falling freely.. "how dare you look at me before you kiss your wife?"..
Ace looked straight at me, and after a few seconds of silence..
"because that's the last and only way I could.. imagine you're my wife"…
My knees were shaking as I glanced at him, "my ex-boyfriend".. he's with someone malamang girlfriend nya.
I pretend na di ko cia nakita, but he grabbed my shoulder bag at napalingon ako.. alam ko cia ang humila ng bag ko.. "chesk" (as usual na tawag nya sa akin) at parang wala lang, I said "hi" kanina pa daw nya ako nakita hindi lang daw ako namamansin, sabi ko na lang cencia, I was busy fixing my things, sabay smile.
he asked me If I received the invitation of his wedding..saka ko lang naalala ikakasal na nga pala cia, kelan? 3 days from now..date pa yun ng anniversary namin.. the man I loved before is announcing the date of his wedding with this curly haired lady in front of me.. the man who's deeply in love with me before..*sigh**..
it's been 2 years since we last talked, siguro masasabi kong.. I missed him, so much... hindi lang talaga maganda ang naging paghihiwalay namin, may mga bagay talaga na dapat ayusin, mga bagay na nasira sa mga hindi inaasahang pangyayari.. pero akala ko lang pala yon, akala ko lang na magiging maayos ang lahat.
as I opened the invitation,napansin ko agad ang date.. anniversary nga namin dati.. una kong naisip inaasar nya ako tamang ganti lang sa mga ginawa ko noon.. pero hindi ako nagpaasar. Eto nga at nakikipagchikahan pa ako sa harap ng kanyang fiancée. Bakit? Dahil ba wala lang sa akin? Ayos lang na makipagbolahan ako dito sa kanilang dalawa??.. O magaling lang ako magtago ng nararamdaman? Ang hirap kaya ng ginagawa ko ngayon, trying to be nice with them.
Naah!! Nagsisi na ako noon, ayoko na magsisi ulit ngayon. Gusto kong ipakita sa kanya na masaya ako para sa kanilang dalawa. oo dapat may ayusin pa akong mga bagay bagay, pero naisip ko para saan pa? wala naman na akong babalikan, wala naman na akong pagbabawian sa kasalanang nagawa ko.. pero kung alam nya lang..sobrang nagsisi ako sa mga nangyari.. kung alam nya lang kung anong mga gusto kong sabihin ngayon..
hindi ko cia iniwan, nawala lang ako saglit para ihulma ang sarili ko sa kung sino mang gusto nyang maging ako..pero cympre hindi nya ako naintindihan…pero umaasa ako na kahit papano..sana.. alam nya yon..
"we have to go cheska" nasabi ng kanyang fiancée, "aasahan ka namin sa kasal"
"ah.. uhm yah.. p-pupunta ako" ngiti lang sakin si Ace
"c-congratulations.." habol ko pa
*hinga ng malalim**..
*Sa Church**
Exactly 2pm kami dumating sa church..kasama ko best friend kong si Jelai chinika na agad nya ako, ano daw ba ang nararamdaman ko na hindi ako ang bride ni Ace, sagot ko "wala lang".. She just smiled at me, thinking that "wala lang" nga talaga.. pero kung alam nya lang, I wanted to shout in front of everybody.. gusto kong ipaalam na ako ang dapat na inaabangan ng lahat ngayon..
pero hndi pa ako baliw para gawin ang mga walang kwentang bagay na yon dahil lang sa lalaking mahal ko pa rin "ata"?
after 10mins, the ceremony started.
I noticed the motif, it was pink..my favorite color. I asked the girl beside me kung sinong nag asikaso ng lahat ng ito.. she said si Ace daw.. tango lang ako..
as I was quietly sitting there.. while watching the couples, there was a girl beside them who motioned forward to pick her microphone. Sabi ko medyo malilibang na ako, gusto ko kasing nakakapanood ng mga kumakanta..
afterwards, she started to sing..
*pause**..
I know the song.. I almost cried when I hear that.. that's our theme song.. how dare him played that song na nandito ako.. hindi ko magets kung ano man ang gusto nyang palabasin? Kung nananadya ba cia? O talagang inaasar nya lang ako?..
"you may now kiss your bride"..
Di ko na napansing natapos ang kanta dahil sa mga sunod sunod na pumasok sa isip ko.
..he looked at me first before he kissed his wife..
gusto ko ciang batuhin ng sapatos ko sa mga ginagawa nya..kelangan kong makahanap ng tiyempo para maconfront cia.. para maintindihan ko ang mga nangyayari.. pinag kakaisahan ba nila ako? O feeling ko lang yun?..
tapos na ang kasal, hindi na maganda ang mood ko, bakit pa kasi ako nag-i-stay? Lalo lang akong naiinsulto sa mga nakikita ko sa paligid, mas maraming bagay lang akong nakikita na nagpapaalala noong kami pa.. I really have to go, I have no purpose of being here.. *kinakausap ko na ang sarili ko** walang lingon lingon akong naglakad papalayo.. kelangan kong makalabas ng simbahan agad..
sige cheska, almost there..
It was two steps away from the opened door of the church when unexpectedly..
"where are you going?"
I slowly faced him with teary eyes,
there was a long awkward pause.
"what are you doing??"
i looked straight at him.. "that was supposed to be.. my question.."
his eyes were full of questions.. we just stared at each other..
after a few seconds, I sighed more heavily.. and then..
"how dare you play our song in your wedding ceremony?,
how dare you pick my favorite color as your motif?,
how dare you choose our anniversary date as your wedding date?"
my tears falling freely.. "how dare you look at me before you kiss your wife?"..
Ace looked straight at me, and after a few seconds of silence..
"because that's the last and only way I could.. imagine you're my wife"…
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