Wednesday, September 03, 2008

How to Install Love

How to Install Love?
Could it be possible?
Can we?

Read the following conversation then try to follow the steps given by the Acting customer care representative.

Customer Service (CS) Rep. : Yes, Ma'am, how can Ihelp you today?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decidedto install LOVE.Can you guide me through the process?

CS Rep. : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready toproceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I thinkI'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep. : The first step is to open your HEART. Haveyou located your HEART ma'am
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several otherprograms running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep. : What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE,LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep. : No problem. LOVE will gradually erasePAST-HURT.EXE from your currentoperating system. It may remain in your permanentmemory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwriteLOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own calledHIGH-ESTEEM. EXE. However, you have to completely turnoff GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can youtell me how?

CS Rep. : My pleasure. Go to your Start menu andinvoke FORGIVENESS. EXE.Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXEand RESENTMENT.COM havebeen completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installingitself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep. : Yes. You should receive a message that saysit will reinstall for the life of your HEART.Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I! do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep. : Yes, but remember that you have only thebase program.You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in orderto get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. Whatshould I do?

CS Rep. : What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ONINTERNAL COMPONENTS."What does that mean?

CS Rep. : Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.It means that the LOVE program is setup to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been runon your HEART. It is one of thosecomplicated programming things, but in non-technicalterms it means you have to "LOVE" yourown machine before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep. : Can you pull down the directory called"SELF-ACCEPTANCE" ?Customer: Yes, I have it.CS Rep. : Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep. : You're welcome. Click on the following filesand then copy them to the "MYHEART"directory: FORGIVE-SELF. DOC, REALIZE-WORTH. TXT, andACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS. DOC. The system will overwrite anyconflicting files and begin patching any faultyprogramming. Also, you need to deleteVERBOSE-SELF- CRITIC.EXE from all directories, andthen empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure itis completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with newfiles. SMILE.MPG is playing on mymonitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, andCONTENTMENT. COM are copyingthemselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

CS Rep. : Sometimes. For others it takes a while, buteventually everything gets downloaded atthe proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running.You should be able to handle it from here.One more thing before I go.
Customer: Yes?

CS Rep. : LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and itsvarious modules to everybody you meet.They will in turn share it with other people and theywill return some similarly cool modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way,what's your name?

CS Rep. : You can call me the Divine Cardiologist,also known as The Great Physician, but mostcall me God. Most people feel all they need is anannual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but themanufacturer (Me) suggests a schedule of dailymaintenance for maximum efficiency.Put another way, keep in touch.......

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