What happens when someone breaks your heart?
When someone breaks your heart, first you are shocked. Someone will say you are heartbroken and you examine the words break and heart and heartbroken and you immediately decide that it’s inaccurate. You feel pain in the region of your heart and you think it’s your heart breaking but one’s heart doesn’t really break, something else does – FAITH. You stop believing.
No not in the big things which are most of the time irrelevant. You still believe in God or Buddha or some Supreme Being, you still believe child prostitution is bad. You just stop believing in the small things that you do, the small things that give meaning to your daily life, and you begin to think everything is pointless: Why get up? Why dress up? Why breathe in and out? What for? What for?
When someone breaks your heart (your faith), you stop believing and you switch off the lights inside your heart.
Someone is home but that someone is lying in the dark, in the room farthest from the gate, and that someone can’t hear anything. Friends, parents, they all call out to her from the gate (“Come out” which means “Move on”) but they are unheard, unseen, unacknowledged.
When someone breaks you heart, you turn into a small ball of self-pity. You lie in bed, in a ball. You hug your knees, keeping them close to your chest, like a fetus. Freud said its human instinct to go back to the womb where you feel safe.
But that’s what happens when someone breaks your heart – they steal the very thing that makes you feels safe, whole, intact.
From the book I read countless of times…
By M.D. Balangue