Dear Stranger...

Dear Stranger,

Last night I drifted back to the past -- the part where everything was all good between us; when we both fought against all the negativity && doubts. Last night was about pure nostalgia. It reminded me how harsh change really is. It wasn`t an intentional thing -- to be walking down memory lane. I don`t know what triggered it. It must be all the sadness.

Do you think it`s that easy, that it`ll all just disappear?.. I am sorry. Because you`ve become so vague && evasive. Because you probably think I`m just like a stranger, too. I`m writing this not to put blame on you, but because it`s the only way I can explain myself. At least, here, there are no interruptions, no yelling, no crying.

I wish we`d agree on something. I wish you could see how bad it makes me feel, when people assume that I`m the inconsiderate one. That I`m the one who doesn`t seem to care, that I`m the one who`s always waiting to be approached. I may not be that expressive, && I may not talk freely about what`s going on between us. But that doesn`t mean that I don`t care. Or that I`m too casual about it. What ever happened to knowing me inside & out?

Last night, I wanted so badly to be there for you. I don`t know why, but I felt like you didn`t want me to be. Like you didn`t need reassurance from me. But I took that, because I know how it feels to be going through something; that the last thing you need is someone to bug you && force you to talk when you`re not ready. I didn`t want to ruin your night, I didn`t want to be part of the problem. We`re supposed to be on the same wavelength -- now we`re colliding against each other.

I guess what bugged me was the fact that you were nonchalant about it. That you were probably thinking I was just acting up or blowing things out of proportion. I wonder what it would take for a guy to really && truly understand what`s going through a girl`s mind, or how her heart is?

I`m starting to grow tired of having to explain myself. It gets me nowhere, && it just leaves me sad && frustrated. There are times when I feel the urge to be angry, to scream, to let you know what`s hurting me or what`s confusing me. I can`t. I don`t know why.

Probably because everything just hurts. I lose everytime. What am I supposed to do? It`s like reaching out && just being pushed away. I guess you`re thinking I`m crazy; that I`m just being too pessimistic. It`s not always about what you`re thinking, it`s not always about what I`m thinking -- it's about us, how we should be able to compromise, to take each other's feelings into consideration. It`s not fun not being able to say what I really want to. I`m almost always speechless.

Most of the time, my silence gives off the wrong signals. It makes you think I`m cold && insensitive. Do you know, that inside, it`s the exact opposite? Silence doesn`t always mean anger -- try to realize that it means there`s something I can`t say, or that there`s something that`s hurting me.

I want to be there for you through everything, but things seem to keep blocking me from doing that. I want you to fully understand how hard this is, without thinking I`m over-analyzing. I`m not.

I`m holding on to someone even though I don`t know who she is anymore.

God knows how hard this is.

& He also knows that,

despite everything,


I`d still do anything for you.....

Why You're Still Single

Destiny Addict

Ito 'yung mga taong hinihintay na gumawa ang tadhana ng paraan para pagtagpuin sila ng kanilang mga "soulmates" and whatever. Ayaw kumilos o kung ano pa dahil naniniwala siya na kung sino man 'yung talagang meant for him/her ay darating na lang bigla sa paraang hindi niya inaasahan--wow, parang Serendiptiy.

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Dadating din 'yan. 'Wag kasing hanapin!"

Perfectionist

Simula nung magkamalay ang taong ito, nakalista na ang mga bagay na gusto niya sa kanyang magiging boypren/girlpren. kapag may nakilala siya at nakitang madumi ang kuko, magkadikit ang kilay, may butas sa ngipin, o parang penguin maglakad, wala na. Turn off na 'yun para sa kanya.

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Ok na sana siya e. Kaya lang gusto ko 'yung ganito..."

Busy Bee

Pasensya na sila pero masyado kang maraming inaasikaso tulad ng libro, bolpen, papel at calculator. Umaalis ka ng 6 am sa bahay at umuuwi ng 7 ng gabi 'pag weekdays. Pagdating mo sa bahay, gagawa lang ng homework at matutulog na. Masaya ka nang makanood ng TV 'pag Sabado (at gumawa ulit ng homework). Sapat na sa'yo ang kumain sa labas kasama ang pamilya 'pag Linggo (at gumawa pa rin ng homework).

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Sorry. Wala akong time sa ganyan e."

Friend Forever version 1

Kunwari ka pa dyan. Alam mo namang gusto mo talaga 'yang best friend o special friend mo pero hindi mo lang sinasabi at pinapadama dahil ayaw mong masira ang pagkakaibigan niyong dalawa. 'Yung tipong 'pag may kasmang iba 'yung gusto mo, kunwari ka pang masaya ka para sa kanya pero sa totoo lang, gusto mo na malusaw na parang ice dahil sa Global Warming.

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "I'm so happy for you!" o "Sayang naman 'yung pinagsamahan e."

Friend Forever version 2

Wala tayong magagawa pero talagang malapit ka lang sa kabilang kasarian--pero bilang kaibigan lang. One-of-the-boys, ladies' man. Hindi ka naman homo o bi pero sadyang kaibigan lang ang tingin mo sa mga taong hindi mo kapareho ng chromosomes. Masaya ka nang nakaka-hang out lang sila, nakakakwentuhan, niyayakap nang walang halong malisya.

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "May inuman ba mamaya?" (kung babae) o "Hatid ko ba kayo mamaya?" (kung lalaki)

Born to be One

Single-blessed ka at wala ka nang magagawa kung ganun. :-) Nilikha ka siguro para magaing mag-isa (pero syempre may pamilya at kaibigan ka naman, duh) hanggang tumanda ka na at ipadala sa Home for the Aged. Marami akong kakilalang mukhang ganito ang patutunguhan at hindi naman sila mga pangit o abnoy talaga. Minsan lang, masyado sila masungit.

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Mag-isa ako."

Happy-go-lucky

'Eto 'yung taong masaya na sa trip-trip lang at kung anu-anong mga happenings. Kahit sino na lang basta no strings attached. For fun lang at walang seryosohan please.

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "I'm not ready to commit e, but I really like you."

Wrong Time

'Eto naman 'yung mga laging idinadahilan na masyado pa silang bata o kaya masyado na silang matanda. May mga tao raw na ganyan, 'yung pakiramdam nila laging may tamang panahon para sa pag-ibig. Pero ang labo lang kasi tuwing may pagkakataon naman, lagi nilang naiisip na maling panahon pa iyon. Oo, wrong timing lagi ang pag-ibig para sa kanila kasi madalas sumasakto kung kelan meron silang board exams, problema sa pamilya, o long test kinabukasan. :))

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "We had the right love at the wrong time..."

Parent Trap

Ayaw ni mama o ni papa na magkaboypren/girlpren ang kanilang unica hija/hijo kahit na 22 years old na ito at kumikita na ng sarili niyang pera. Kailangan daw magkaron ka muna ng isang strand ng puting buhok bago may makadalaw sa'yo sa bahay. O kaya, baka ikaw 'yung may problema dahil natatakot ka sa iisipin ng mga magulang mo tungkol sa iyong gusto. Baka kasi sabihin nila na masyado siyang bansot/ matangkad/ baboy/ payatot para sa'yo.

Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Baka kasi magalit si Papa."

Trauma

Dahil sa dami ng mga heartbreak na iyong nadama at emo songs na napakinggan mo na noon, sinumpa mo nang hindi ka magmamahal. Ayaw mo na. Sawa ka na sa paglalaslas ng pulso, este, sa paglalagay ng mga madramang stat message sa YM at pag-iyak ng balde-baldeng luha. Awwwww. >:D<>